Expectations

I’m pregnant. For most this is not news, but I haven’t put it anywhere yet on my acting website. So here it is. I’M PREGNANT!6months

While this is extremely exciting and awesome news, it’s been difficult for me to grapple with everything that’s changing. Not just in my acting career, but especially in my acting career. (That makes perfect sense to me so just go with it.) But also life as I know it has completely changed – physically, mentally and emotionally. I get out of breath climbing the subway stairs. I’m hungry all the time. I get irritated at my husband for the smallest of offenses. I am completely freaking out about a new human joining our family.

Freaking out because my normally scheduled routine is about to change forever. I’m a virgo so routine is paramount to my well being. For example, I post to my blog every two weeks. The last couple of months, I have been completely inconsistent and have only posted once or twice total. This bothers me because I am not giving you, my readers, the story of my journey – which is what I set out to do. Cheesy? Maybe. But it’s a non-negotiable to me. I feel like I let you – and me – down. And it doesn’t feel good.

For now and until after the baby is born, there may be weeks I don’t post. I have to be okay with that. Relax my expectations that I must stay on such a rigid timeline. I know I’ll get back on the horse eventually because that’s who I am. But right now all bets are off. This is truly an example of striving for excellence not perfection. Perfection has no leeway. Perfection is boring. There’s no humanity in perfection. Excellence means doing the best you can do. And that’s what I stand for. I will be the best blog writer, actor, mom I can be. I just have to let go of some of the controlling virgo tendencies…

Speak Your Mind